You don't have asthma, your pregnant
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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