Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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