I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
This is my gift to your gina
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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