There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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