I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
