Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
