Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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