i think i have two assholes
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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