It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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