3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I AM VODKA MAN
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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