Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
