Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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