Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
