One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
