You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
