I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
