A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
