Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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