My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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