Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
