just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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