It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
