Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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