He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
