He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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