you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
