Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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