Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Naked Twister starts at high noon
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
