sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
