No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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