**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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