I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
