90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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