You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
