I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
