i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
