im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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