I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
