i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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