Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
porn star boner night. come get it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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