So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
