How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
