I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
