We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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