I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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