I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
