He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
