It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
