I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
