my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
