So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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