I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
