I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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